Emily Dickinson is not only known for her poetry but also for her decision to remain unmarried. Despite having various lovers and writing about love, Dickinson spent most of her life living under her parents’ roof as a spinster. This fact stood out to me as I was reading poems 194 and 225. Both of these poems mention marriage yet also contrast each other. I found 194 to have a more positive stance on marriage while 225 depicted marriage as a constraint on the life of women. 

Poem 194 reveals Dickinson’s personal relationship to marriage. Despite remaining unmarried, Dickinson considers herself to be married to a higher spiritual being, most likely God. Dickinson writes, “The Wife without the Sign” (Dickinson, 1661). The “sign” implies a marriage certificate/wedding bands or other concrete symbols of marriage. By calling herself a wife without a sign, Dickinson reveals that she recognizes the relationship and responsibility of a marriage without a man to play the part of “groom”. Instead, Dickinson states that she is “Betrothed without the swoon”, hence implying that it is better to be married and commit oneself to a spiritual entity than to a man. Dickinson agrees with the values and commitments of a marriage, but critiques the conventions of women being tied to men through marriage. Dickinson outlines the typical path for 19th-century women by writing, “Born – Bridled – Shrouded – In a Day” (Dickinson, 1661). She emphasizes this lack of freedom that women succumb to when they are married by reiterating that in a day (a wedding ceremony) their path in life is chosen. They are born, they are married, and they die. 

Where Dickinson demonstrates through her “marriage” to a spiritual world or God in poem 194 that she values the theory of marriage, in poem 225, Dickinson further emphasizes her opinion that marriage restrains a woman’s free will. Dickinson writes “How odd the Girl’s life looks Behind this soft Eclipse” (Dickinson, 1662). Dickinson is implying that the role of marriage on a woman is a “soft” or subtle way of covering and restraining her life. In most 19th-century scenarios, she is forced to stand behind a man and serve him instead of living for herself. By describing an eclipse, Dickinson critiques this societal norm. Dickinson ends the poem by exclaiming, “I’m “Wife”! Stop there!” (Dickinson, 1662). The use of exclamation marks in this sentence represents Dickinson’s strong desire to remain unmarried. The idea of being a “wife” forces her to shout “Stop there!” consequently representing her desire to never repress her life through marriage.