Every person has been through a rite of passage, an event to mark an important stage in their life. High school graduation is a great example. That moment, when you moved your tassel from the one side to the other and then threw it in the air. Each rite of passage is different, but are there unique “rites of passage” for queer, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and pansexual people?

Before you ask, I won’t be talking about celebratory coming out stories. The “rite of passage” I’m referring to is reparative therapy, the sugarcoated name used to hide gay conversion therapy.

Gay conversion therapy includes many treatments, such as: conversational, electroshock, hetero-dating simulations, psychological abuse, and physical abuse.

The Williams Institute at the University of California, documents that about 700,000 queer people have experienced gay conversion therapy (Wong, Huffington Post). Participants have commonly called the practices “trauma” and “torture”. For many, this rite of passage was not a joyous or celebrated one.

Currently, only 19 states restrict gay conversion therapy. Though this could become 18 states as, in 2019, New York introduced a bill to repeal its law against gay conversion therapy. 

When we talk about gay rights, all we talk about is our progress. But, why don’t we talk about where we fall short. Why does gay conversion therapy still exist?

As a gay man, this is frightening. Before coming to terms with my sexuality, I went through my own inner turmoil of self-hatred and shame. I thought that no one could understand how abnormal I felt. Then, you hear stories from other people or gay conversion therapy and sometimes you wonder if you were next. So, let me ask you, why is gay conversion therapy still allowed to exist?