The “Sandwich Generation” refers to individuals who are caring for children under the age of 18 and older relatives at the same time (Goto 46). Mothers who have been caught in the middle of the sandwich (ages 35-54), feel the most stress than any other group (APA 2020). During the pandemic, mothers had to take on the role of a caregiver for their parents but remain attentive and respond to the needs of their children. This balance became difficult for mothers to obtain as they needed to adapt to new work environments while being a caregiver and staying connected to the real world. Fortunately, post-lock down allowed some mothers to reflect and form connections that changed their family dynamic for the better.
Silver lining for Mothers
Kelly Goto, a mother in the sandwich generation talks about the pressures of COVID-19 and how it impacted her daily routine, which became more unpredictable by the day. Goto talks about caring for her sick mother and the fear she had in keeping everyone at home safe: “My days are now filled balancing work, home school, groceries, leaking pipes, dog training, and attempting regular exercise” (Goto 48). With extra responsibilities outside of just being a mother and an employee, Goto admits how disconnected she felt and the struggle she faces to claim her identity (Goto 49). The responsibilities that mothers had during covid took a toll on the way mother’s viewed themselves.
“Nana ko robi ya oki which means ‘fall down seven times, get up eight.’ Resilience at its best”
Goto, K. 2022
Despite these hardships that many mothers, like Goto, experience there can sometimes be a silver lining. Post-lockdown gave mothers like Goto a time to reflect and understand their role as a mother but also to take a deep breath and step back. Goto says “Time has slowed in many ways, things that are important become more pronounced… I realize the values of my parents reflect the values of my heritage that appear in my dad’s art” (Goto 2022). Goto’s statement highlights the importance of reflection and taking a step back. It is easy for mothers to blame themselves and to feel responsible for events they can not entirely control. Such expectations that mothers place on themselves can be unattainable at times and damaging to their mental health. Like Goto, being a sandwich mom during covid was demanding but could give rise to new bonds and meaningful experiences.
References
American Psychological Association 2008. “Sandwich generation moms feeling the squeeze.” Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. Retrieved November 1, 2022 (https://www.apa.org/topics/families/sandwich-generation).
Collins, Caitlyn. 2019. Making Motherhood Work: How Women Manage Careers and Caregiving. Princeton: Princeton University Press.
Fry, Richard. 2018. “More adults now share their living space, driven in part by parents living with their adult children.” Washington, D.C: Pew Research Center. Retrieved Novemeber 1, 2022 (https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/01/31/more-adults-now-share-their-living-space-driven-in-part-by-parents-living-with-their-adult-children/).
Goto, K. (2020). “The “New‐Normal” Life of a Sandwich Mom in a Sushi World.” Design Management Review, 31(3), 46–49.
Igielnik, Ruth and Parker, Kim. 2019. “Most Americans Say the Current Economy Is Helping the Rich, Hurting the Poor and Middle Class.” Washington, DC: Pew Research Center. Retrieved November 1, 2022 (https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/12/11/most-americans-say-the-current-economy-is-helping-the-rich-hurting-the-poor-and-middle-class/).
U.S Bureau of Labor Statistics 2022. “Employment Characteristics of Families – 2021.” Washington, D.C: U.S Bureau of Labor Statistics. Retrieved November 27, 2022 (https://www.bls.gov/news.release/famee.nr0.htm).
Workman, Simon and Howard, Steven J. 2020. “The True Cost of Providing Safe Child Care During the Coronavirus Pandemic.” The Center for American Progress. Retrieved November 1, 2022 (https://www.americanprogress.org/article/true-cost-providing-safe-child-care-coronavirus-pandemic/)
Zahraoui, Omar. 2022. “Senior Housing Units Vacated During Pandemic Near Full Recovery on Net Basis.” National Investment Center. Retrieved November 18,2022 (https://blog.nic.org/senior-housing-units-vacated-during-pandemic-recovering-on-net-basis).
