Author: Madeleine La Cotera

Over the past month, small yet consistent challenges have accumulated to cause exhaustion at times, frustration, and even wishes to return to the states. Mainly issues with food, reliable WiFi, and missing loved ones have made it difficult for me to enjoy studying abroad at times. At a workshop, my program revisited the idea of comfort zones, stretching zones, and panic zones to check in on how we were doing. We were supposed to say which of the three zones we were in and why. I explained that it felt as though I had been in the stretching zone for too long and had not found the right balance of comfort and stretching.

I did not expect the transition period to last as long as it did, which has been over a month. However, when I did find myself frustrated during the tough moments, I did not fight my feelings. Rather, I gave myself the time and space to sit with that frustration. Also, when asked how I was, I responded as honestly as I could with phrases like “I’m hangin’ in there” or “I’m okay” because they captured that “stuck in the stretching zone” feeling. By doing so, I did fight the unspoken expectation—which I’ve noticed both at the University of Ghana and at Hamilton—to respond to questions that ask me how I am doing with bubbly and quick responses. I did not try to hide or work through my feelings of discomfort as fast as possible. Instead, I accepted that being uncomfortable did not reflect badly on me, CIEE, or even Ghana. Rather, it was simply the reality of my situation, proving that it truly requires work to find a balance of comfort and stretching while abroad.

To do the work of finding a balance, I have accepted the things I can control while accepting the things that I cannot. For example, soon after I noticed that I could not eat much of the food here, I began preparing my own meals. I started off simply boiling yams and, most recently, I successfully made big pots of beef stew and mixed vegetables. My mom and sister have given me instructions through texts, allowing me to accomplish one of my general life goals: learn how to cook! I also know that the WiFi is strongest in a computer lab in the International House that’s open during the day. I have started doing most of my work during that time. In addition, I spend hours on FaceTime everyday. I’m thankful that the WiFi connection is strong enough for me to stay connected to loved ones in the states. Finally, I remind myself that I am getting what I came to Ghana for: an education from an Afrocentric perspective. My classes have been one of the best parts of this trip so far.

Overall, even though I have been stuck in the stretching zone, I am developing the flexibility needed to travel the world.

One of the most rewarding parts of my study abroad trip in Ghana so far was a workshop my program (CIEE) held about a week after we arrived in Ghana. The workshop consisted of activities that raised cultural awareness of ourselves as Americans, developed our cultural literacy of Ghana, and set the foundation for us to build cultural bridges. The activity that proved most helpful for me was a small group discussion in which we used three concentric circles to map our comfort zones, stretching zones, and panic zones. The zones required me to be introspective about what environments I feel most content in, the ones I grow in as a result of challenges, and those that would jeopardize my well being in some way.

I am learning, or confirming rather, that I feel like I belong the most in strong interpersonal relationships instead of in larger contexts such as a school, city, country, or continent even, which is the same feeling I have in the United States. I have had and still have trouble identifying with groups because of the many marginalized identities I have and my lived experiences. I constantly wonder what it means to think of “home” and “comfort zones” not in terms of physical places, but actual people. What does it mean that I think of “home” and “comfort zones” this way by necessity and by force, not by choice? What are the limits and benefits to this?

This activity also captured the essence of my study abroad goals. I wanted to study abroad to not only explore concepts including belonging and identity, but to understand how these two concepts, in particular, affect each other in different spaces across the world. When thinking about themes such as solidarity and unity in my major, Africana Studies, it has felt disheartening to have built up a naive expectation, especially as someone with different cultural and educational backgrounds to not only Ghanaians, but other international students.

After the workshop, we were treated to our program’s welcome dinner. After enjoying a buffet-style meal and a live band at a restaurant, two other students and I made our way to the dance floor to join some Ghanaians. Eventually, one of the other students suggested we do the electric slide to the beat of the music and we did, capturing the eyes of everyone in the restaurant. Soon, a program staff member joined in and we all did the dance moves in unison with smiles on our faces and joyful confidence in our synchronized steps. The shared freedom we achieved through music and dance memorialized that night as one of the best ones so far.

These spaces where I feel I belong the most do not naturally exist. I realize that I actively create them with other people. So, I have come to realize that belonging is a matter of claiming kinship and emotional spaces both in the United States and in Ghana so far. Therefore, standing with someone becomes more validating, freeing, and comforting than standing somewhere. So, rather than trying to find my place in the world, perhaps a much better mission is to find my people. At least for now.